For years, I did work and life alone.
The voices within my mind said something like: “I am not like the others.” and “If they really knew me, they wouldn’t like me.” Consequently, I became extra focused on tasks and found thousands of reasons why I didn’t belong.
Years ago, I participated in a Fortune 100 Leadership Fast-Track program. During one of my mentoring sessions, I was advised NOT to have close relationships with my direct reports because there was a professional line that I shouldn’t cross. Here I was a high performer, with all the accolades and I excluded myself from real meaningful connections before anyone else had a chance to reject me.
As time went on, I had the privilege of working with inspirational, People Leaders like Susie Erskine, Teresa Patrick, Rick Tamlyn and Helen House. Each of them had a way of breaking down my lonely walls of perfectionism as they led by example. Throughout the years, being an executive coach, I found that I wasn’t alone in my struggle.
The #1 Reason Why People Leave Companies is Because They Do Not Feel Like They Belong.
If you feel like you are struggling to belong at work, here are a few things you can do:
- Take 100% responsibility for your intended AND unintended impact. If you want to belong, you may want to be aware of when you’re pushing people away. Get a mentor or a coach who can help you connect with your Leader Within. Understanding your Leader Within, will help you take responsibility for your intended and unintended impacts.
- Look at things from the eyes of your Customer. In Leadership Coaching, we call this Level 2 listening. In Management Consulting we call these Customer Line of Visibility models. Your employees and co-workers ARE your customers. Listen to things from their perspective before you talk about your own.
- Be 100% appreciative of everyone you work with. Everyone is special and has something valuable to offer. Even if we don’t always agree with others, we can align with what is best for the company and one another.
- No one is better than anyone. We may have different levels of decision-making authority yet we all put on our pants the same way. (Unless of course, we are wearing a dress 😊).
- Know your purpose and when things don’t go as planned make failure your friend. Something magical happens when people come together for a common purpose and inevitably things won’t always go as planned. By being committed to a process improvement mindset, we can leverage our learnings and create a stronger future together.
Today I keep companies AND their leaders relevant! If you are ready to stop doing work and life alone, or just want to expand your current professional network than, join me during my monthly “Coffee Talk for Relevant Leaders”. Together we’ll be the catalyst for you being more engaged with your CREW!
Sign up soon, I only take a maximum of 10 leaders so that we can have a meaningful conversation!
See you there!
Taking responsibility for your intended and unintended impact is an empowering perspective. It unifies all aspects of the situation. I use it to get more perspective (not to beat myself up in a negative experience or pat myself on the back in a positive experience). Once I accept responsibility I focus on the creative nature of my business and take a breath. Once I’m centered I ask myself, “What do I appreciate most about this situation?” Then I focus on that honest, easy-to-accept appreciation. Then I look for something else to appreciate about the people in the situation and then I take one creative action to move my impact to the next “place.” This creates a feeling in my body and an awareness in my mind of forward, creative (even playful) movement. It centers me in the situation, enlivens my creative juices and allows me to focus on the situation I want to create. Thanks, Nina for opening up this conversation!